No seriously. There’s a study to prove it: CNN Report On Fellatio Study. Which is the funniest thing i’ve read in a long long time. My favorite quote from the article has to be:
“Only with regular occurrence will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine,” said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. “Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances.”
Based on this report, I think all women should use their natural fear of breast-cancer as a motivation to suck cock and swallow. To those women out there who not only loathe giving blow jobs—because it makes them gag or feel violated or is an act of forced submission—but also hate swallowing cum, because of how it tastes or what it represents, well NO PRESSURE. The article also admits, quietly, at the end of paragraph three, that, “There was no increased risk…for those who did not regularly perform.” I mean, we’re just saying giving regular blow jobs and swallowing semen might save your life, or prevent your breasts from having to be surgically removed or the horrific experience of radiation and chemotherapy. But seriously, no pressure.
If I had the last name “Shifteer” I think I would definitely also be a scientist bent on changing common sense, heart-centered approaches to gendered-sex-relations with my bullshit studies.
But what am I waiting for? I am going to get right to work on my own study that proves that eating pussy decreases the risk of heart attacks. Or that not pressuring women for blow jobs decreases the risk for colon cancer.